Integrating the Self
December 1, 2014
I wake at 4 am thinking about my health. I have been dealing with Lyme for 7 years and just recently received a diagnosis, like many people with it. One of the western medical machine’s crowning achievements has been to deny the epidemic proportions of Lyme in the united states. Lyme creates a cacophony of chronic symptoms that affects all of the systems of the body, making it a great money maker for the medical money machine. The CDC recommends a test that is only 30% accurate and often refuses access to the Western blot, the one test that does find the disease and it’s co-infections making accurate and timely diagnosis very rare. The doctors are taught that Lyme is rare and only exist in certain areas of the country. Even when it is found they don’t know how to treat it in a way that doesn’t burn out the body with antibiotics, and then the recurrence rate for those that do go that route is about 40% within 6 years.
I fear I may never heal, what if I am stuck in a body degenerating slowly and painfully before my eyes. I reach out to Source, feeling the tears fall on my pillow, please help me, please. Please heal my body. Take the Lyme and fill me with healing and pure light.
Feeling the energy shift, I know it is being given and I allow myself to move into a state of receiving, grateful for the intervention. I can feel my heart beat, and a pain in my breast, the texture of the energy is slightly more dense than the rest of my body, the energy a light to medium grey color. I focus my awareness into it like a laser and the heaviness disappears, the energy is clear, transparent. My focus is a laser beam. I am focusing my consciousness like a laser, with my intention. What else I can do with it? The answer comes as my consciousness expands to encompass my entire body, fully present in every cell, healing me.
My awareness expands through my chest, alive and glowing, it feels electric, moving down into my pelvis, down my legs, they tingle, into my toes, I am awake. I have never been this present inside my body before. I am awake in my toes. The laser of my awareness expands into a broader ray that fills and encompasses my body, sensing the heaviness in my head, knowing the lyme disease is eating away at my clarity, my ability to think straight. No, I think, you cant have my mind. Ever. It’s off limits. I imagine a bubble of protection around my mind and I see it being purified of all the pollution and illusion. Suddenly, every thing is clear. My awareness continues to expand, becoming aware of the consciousness of humanity, a multidimensional organic field of energy matter before me, a fabric made of the consciousness of humanity. I reach and stretch myself into the fullness of consciousness, into the pockets of resistance, where parts of myself expressing as other humans have density that I resist being. Pushing past the resistance, I affirm oneness, and expand further into the field, owning the light and the dark as parts of myself. It’s all okay to exist. All of it. Its an illusion, a fracture. We are one. Come home.
A picture flashes in my mind, a large woman on a surgical table with wires along her spine, rolling off a medical table, a metaphor for what I am seeing, like the movie the Matrix, we are wired into the human experience of reality. I shift again, back into the movement of my being, melting into a mass of consciousness flowing now down a tunnel, the collective consciousness of humanity as one, moving into the tunnel, letting go as one. I feel myself moving down into the oneness and pull my awareness into a wider view of the macro, into the whole of consciousness level. I have tapped into the whole of the collective consciousness and I am aware, this is the field of creation, where real changes can be made to shift physical reality. Where do I start, I wonder. What is above this? Leaning into the energy above me, to find out, I decide to explore it later and turn my attention to the level I have landed on.
I think to widen the path to my human (Molly) and I became simultaneously aware of many things at once. One, that I was at the top of the hierarchy, I am at the top of the cosmological structure, in the field of formlessness, the field of potential of all form. I can see clearly the path I just created, in a wider view. It was like a wide tunnel from my human up into the field of pre-creation.
All around the path I cleared was darkness and density. I suddenly realized it was the cosmological structures of other humans on Earth all around me that looked like dirty tubes that connect from the aura of the human up into Source/collective consciousness. It runs through all of the dimensions and the Hierarchical levels of creation. I realize, we are all naturally wired into the field of creation, but that our connections are clogged because of the state of our reality on earth right now. We have forgotten who we are. Our consciousness as humans is limited by our belief in separation, clogged up by the dogma taught to us by religions that say we are separate from God, that we are sinful, and bad. The path of connection of the other humans on Earth are filled with illusion of separation which blocked their awareness of themselves as Divine Beings. I immediately wanted to clear it all out. I felt a fierce rebellion, like a revolution, about the state of the world and our need to wake up to who we really are. I say, enough. We’re not doing this anymore, I’m calling end game, let’s go home.
I go to work pulling all of the density out, like pulling weeds out by their roots. Weeks later as I write, I realize this darkness I am pulling out of everyone’s central core, is their shadow. As I work to clear the sludge out of my fellow humans, I realize the fabric of humans overlays the earth, and the whole around the earth needed to be cleared.
I wonder if I should leave part of it undone and watch it spread but immediately think, no, it is time for full equality, no more power imbalances, we all get to be free. The space is wide open from the highest level, to the level of humans on Earth. The sensation of Oneness is so palpable, it brings me to tears. I feel such relief that the nightmare is over and we can all now wake up to who we really are, I am so excited about being here to watch it all unfold, life is about to get really, really good.
As I clean out the space around the earth, I become aware of the law “as above so below, as within, so without, as me, so me.” My mind mind is blown with the immensity of creation, how huge it is, because earth is one planet, and there are all the stars in the sky, all the galaxies in the universe, it expands out infinitely out into space. It is the same with our consciousness. This is just this system. Sol / Terra firma, there are so many more out there.